Jamie Foxx is right...

I don't need it...
I don't need to change...
I don't need to make myself right for someone else...
And I'm glad that I caught that now...
No matter how much I like them, I'ma stay me...
But I do need to do something though...
I need to find a constructive way to release my anger...
I tend to just blurt out what's on my mind and I don't think about who it affects...
I learned it the hard way though...
I said somethings out of anger and the words I said hurt the person that I liked...
I pretty much my changes of hearing what I wanted to hear but I did it to myself...
I did it because I'ma very protective person...
But its weird because I was protecting myself...
It was more like a defense mechanism...
And honestly, I was scared...
I was scared that it was just a joke being played on me...
I was scared that it was all just made up...
I was scared so I tried to find everything that could have been wrong because I didn't want to get hurt...
I wanted him to like me back but I just wasn't sure and I got impaitent so I tried to find something wrong with it...
Soo, now we just friends and I'm okay with it...
It's just gonna be a huge regret of mine for a lil bit...

What's N E X T...

Man, Idk whay else to do...
I don't wanna leave it alone because I care too much...
But I refuse to put myself out there and C O N T I N U E to recieve nothing...
It seems like it's just E X C U S E after E X C U S E...
A part of me wants to just say "Okay, he just needs time and be paitent..."
But I can't do that because of the inquiory...
It really is killin' me...
All I wanna know is whats inside if his head...
I wanna know what he thinks of me...
I wanna hear it from HIM D I R E C T L Y...
I'm not askin' for too much...
Am I???
It's not like I want a relationship right away...
And its not like I want him to change either...
I like him just the way he is...
I guess he has low self-esteem or something because he is perfect to me...
Idk...
I just wanna know if the feeling is mutal for sure...
Because right now I'm just goin' off of he said she said and its tearin' me up inside...
I just want all of the games to stop and I want him to just talk to me on some real stuff...
And not talk through anyone else...

I'm Back...

Hey yall...
I'm Back!!!
AWWW, I just can't get away from bloggin'...
It was a lil situation but I got over it and found a way to still blog...
I realized that I feel better when I blog...
Because I don't talk about my feelings, it's better for me to write it down...
So, sorry for that lil break and I'm back even stronger...
Add T H I S one!!!

Just can't have N O T H I N G...

Remember when you were a child and you didn't want a toy or a food until you saw someone else with it...
It's weird...
Why do people begin to see things in a different way when someone else has it or wants it???
I have always wanted the things that no one really paid attention...
Not J U S T because people didn't see it...
But because the things that the majority of people want, aint all that anyways...
I don't typically follow the group so to speak...
I look at things for their true qualities...
Not just the way it looks or what it can do...
It just seems like lately, everything I want or even look at begins to become desirable to others...
Even things that have been just sittin' in the window for Y E A R S...
It seems like when I say something like "That's a cute shirt.", someone will go and buy and then try and keep the fact that they bought it away from me, because they already know that I would be P I S S E D...
Idk...
I guess I'm just like stop...
I'm gonna stop wantin' things...
I'm gonna stop sayin' what I want because it seems like that's when the problems come in...