I'm BACK...

Hey yall!!! I know, I know, it's been a LONG time lol, but I'm here and I have SOO much to say...Well school started back and it's been decent. I feel good because I honestly KNOW for a fact who my friends are. I know who my BEST friend is, but I know now who my FRIENDS are. It took a while lol, but I got it. In a way, all of the bad things and all of the drama that I have been through in my life, was a good thing. It was a good thing because it taught me things about myself and other people. But, enough about friends, more blogs to come!! Love yall!!!

Not a good C O M B O

God made Adam and Eve, correct...
God made man and woman to coincide with each and ultimately become one, correct...
It seemed that everything was going as planned until that sneaky snake come into play...
Even with the whole snake thing, Adam and Eve still remained as one because Adam trusted the instincts of his wife...
Man and woman were at a good point in history...
But that was a marriage...
What about man and woman being friends???
It doesn't seem like that really works out well in most cases...
Especially when there is one guy in the mix of all girls or one girl in the mix of all guys...
But these instance are similar yet very different...
When you have one girl in the mix of all guys, there is hardly any drama and if it is its over something silly...
When you have one guy in the mix of all girls, it seems like all of the layers of hell crack open...
From what I have experienced, females are very territorial over guys...
Even if they are just "friends" and they will do anything they can to keep that which they think they own in the circle...
It seems like a girl and guys is a good combination but a guy and girls isn't...
If you have any other ideas as to why this happens???

This is to Pg.

Hey...
I'm here...
I haven't forgotten lol...
I just haven't really had the need to vent...
I was just letting little stuff get to me and I realize now that I not worth it...
You just gotta let stuff go...
And honestly, I feel a lot better now...
So I guess I'ma have to change the name lol...

Jamie Foxx is right...

I don't need it...
I don't need to change...
I don't need to make myself right for someone else...
And I'm glad that I caught that now...
No matter how much I like them, I'ma stay me...
But I do need to do something though...
I need to find a constructive way to release my anger...
I tend to just blurt out what's on my mind and I don't think about who it affects...
I learned it the hard way though...
I said somethings out of anger and the words I said hurt the person that I liked...
I pretty much my changes of hearing what I wanted to hear but I did it to myself...
I did it because I'ma very protective person...
But its weird because I was protecting myself...
It was more like a defense mechanism...
And honestly, I was scared...
I was scared that it was just a joke being played on me...
I was scared that it was all just made up...
I was scared so I tried to find everything that could have been wrong because I didn't want to get hurt...
I wanted him to like me back but I just wasn't sure and I got impaitent so I tried to find something wrong with it...
Soo, now we just friends and I'm okay with it...
It's just gonna be a huge regret of mine for a lil bit...

What's N E X T...

Man, Idk whay else to do...
I don't wanna leave it alone because I care too much...
But I refuse to put myself out there and C O N T I N U E to recieve nothing...
It seems like it's just E X C U S E after E X C U S E...
A part of me wants to just say "Okay, he just needs time and be paitent..."
But I can't do that because of the inquiory...
It really is killin' me...
All I wanna know is whats inside if his head...
I wanna know what he thinks of me...
I wanna hear it from HIM D I R E C T L Y...
I'm not askin' for too much...
Am I???
It's not like I want a relationship right away...
And its not like I want him to change either...
I like him just the way he is...
I guess he has low self-esteem or something because he is perfect to me...
Idk...
I just wanna know if the feeling is mutal for sure...
Because right now I'm just goin' off of he said she said and its tearin' me up inside...
I just want all of the games to stop and I want him to just talk to me on some real stuff...
And not talk through anyone else...